When your mind won’t let it go
It’s 11:40 p.m. You replay a comment you made in a meeting. Then you replay how the other person reacted. Then you start planning what you’ll say tomorrow if they bring it up, and what you’ll say if they don’t. An hour later nothing has been solved, and you’re more tired and more anxious than when you started.
Most people searching for how to stop overthinking aren’t looking for a diagnosis. They want their evenings back. The good news is that overthinking is one of the most studied patterns in clinical psychology, and the research points to some clear, practical ways out.
What “overthinking” is in psychological terms
Researchers usually call it repetitive negative thinking, and it comes in two main forms:
• Rumination looks backward: Why did I say that? What’s wrong with me? Why does this always happen?
• Worry looks forward: What if it goes badly? What if they’re upset? What if I can’t cope?
Both are common across depression, anxiety, insomnia and stress-related problems, which is why researchers describe repetitive negative thinking as transdiagnostic. It shows up in many conditions and helps keep them going (Ehring & Watkins, 2008).
The key finding is that rumination feels like problem-solving but usually isn’t. In a well-known line of experiments, people who were in a low mood and were asked to ruminate became more negative and worse at solving interpersonal problems than people who were asked to think about neutral things for the same eight minutes (Lyubomirsky & Nolen-Hoeksema, 1995). In other words, the thinking that promises clarity often makes clarity harder to reach (Nolen-Hoeksema, Wisco, & Lyubomirsky, 2008).
Why your brain keeps doing it
If overthinking is so unhelpful, why is it so hard to stop? A few reasons have good support:
• It feels responsible. Many overthinkers quietly believe that worrying keeps them prepared, or that letting go would be careless. Psychologists call these positive beliefs about worry, and they reliably keep the habit going (Wells, 1995).
• It temporarily avoids harder feelings. Worry tends to be verbal and abstract. Thinking in words about a feared event can dampen the more intense images and body sensations that come with it, which brings short-term relief and long-term persistence (Borkovec, Alcaine, & Behar, 2004).
• It’s abstract. Asking why in a big, general way (“Why am I like this?”) keeps the mind circling. Thinking in concrete, specific terms (“What exactly happened, and what is one thing I could do next?”) is linked to better problem-solving (Watkins & Moulds, 2005; Watkins, 2008).
Knowing this matters, because the most effective strategies work directly on these mechanisms.
Seven evidence-based ways to stop overthinking
1. Shift from “why” to “how”
When you catch yourself ruminating, change the question. Instead of Why did this happen to me?, try How did this unfold, step by step? and What is one thing I can do in the next 24 hours? This shift from abstract to concrete thinking is a core ingredient of rumination-focused cognitive behavioural therapy. In a randomized trial with people who had ongoing depressive symptoms, that approach reduced both rumination and depression more than usual care alone (Watkins et al., 2011).
2. Give worry an appointment
It sounds too simple, but worry postponement has evidence behind it. You choose a set 15 to 30 minute “worry period” each day, at the same time and place, and not close to bedtime. When a worry shows up outside that window, you note it briefly and put it off until your appointment. Often it has shrunk or disappeared by then.
The original studies date back to the 1980s (Borkovec et al., 1983). A recent meta-analysis of seven randomized trials with nearly 1,000 participants found small but real reductions in how often people worried and how long the worries lasted (Dippel, Brosschot, & Verkuil, 2024). Small effects add up when you practise daily, and the technique also gives you a sense of control over your thinking.
3. Ask: Is this solvable right now?
Sort each worry into one of two piles. If it’s a practical, current problem you can act on, write down the next concrete step and schedule it. If it’s a hypothetical or something outside your control, the task isn’t to solve it. The task is to notice it as a thought and let it pass. Trying to “solve” an unsolvable what-if is one of the most reliable ways to keep a loop running.
4. Interrupt the loop with absorbing activity
Distraction gets a bad name, but in the experiments above, briefly turning attention to something neutral and absorbing broke the downward spiral that rumination created (Lyubomirsky & Nolen-Hoeksema, 1995). The best choices take up your full attention: a conversation, a puzzle, cooking, a walk in which you deliberately notice what you can see and hear. Scrolling on your phone usually doesn’t count, because it rarely holds your attention fully and often feeds comparison.
5. Practice noticing thoughts rather than arguing with them
Mindfulness-based approaches teach you to see a thought as a thought (“I’m having the thought that I’ve ruined this”) rather than as a fact that needs a response. A meta-analysis of 39 studies found mindfulness-based therapy produced moderate improvements in anxiety and mood, with larger effects for people with diagnosed anxiety and mood disorders (Hofmann et al., 2010). Brief, regular practice works better than occasional long sessions.
6. Protect your sleep from the “night shift”
Overthinking often peaks at bedtime, and worry is a central part of how insomnia is maintained (Harvey, 2002). Some practical steps:
• Do a “brain dump” on paper 1 to 2 hours before bed: what’s on your mind, plus one next step for each item.
• Keep your worry period well away from bedtime.
• If you’ve been awake and thinking for what feels like 20 minutes, get up and do something calm in low light until you feel sleepy. This keeps your bed linked with sleep instead of problem-solving.
Using stimulus control for worry has also been shown to improve sleep (McGowan & Behar, 2013).
7. Notice your “worry is helpful” beliefs and test them
Write down what you believe overthinking does for you, such as If I worry, I won’t be caught off guard. Then check it against your own experience. How often did the worry actually prepare you? How often did it just cost you sleep? Testing these beliefs, rather than just trying to stop the thoughts, is a key part of metacognitive and cognitive behavioral approaches to worry (Wells, 1995).
What doesn’t work well?
Two common strategies tend to backfire:
• Trying to force thoughts out. Telling yourself don’t think about it often brings the thought back more strongly.
• Seeking reassurance repeatedly. Asking others “Do you think it’ll be okay?” brings brief relief, but it teaches the brain that the worry was important and needed checking.
When overthinking is a sign of something more
Everyone overthinks sometimes. It’s worth talking to a psychologist if:
• the thinking takes up an hour or more most days, or regularly keeps you from sleeping
• it comes with persistent low mood, loss of interest, irritability, or physical tension
• you’re avoiding people, decisions or situations because of it
• you’ve tried the strategies above consistently for a few weeks without much change
Persistent overthinking often sits on top of anxiety or depression, both of which are very treatable. You’re far from alone. A psychologist can help you understand what’s driving your particular pattern and tailor the strategies to you.
References
Borkovec, T. D., Alcaine, O., & Behar, E. (2004). Avoidance theory of worry and generalized anxiety disorder. In R. G. Heimberg, C. L. Turk, & D. S. Mennin (Eds.), Generalized anxiety disorder: Advances in research and practice (pp. 77–108). Guilford Press.
Borkovec, T. D., Wilkinson, L., Folensbee, R., & Lerman, C. (1983). Stimulus control applications to the treatment of worry. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 21(3), 247–251.
Dippel, A., Brosschot, J. F., & Verkuil, B. (2024). Effects of worry postponement on daily worry: A meta-analysis. International Journal of Cognitive Therapy, 17(1), 160–178.
Ehring, T., & Watkins, E. R. (2008). Repetitive negative thinking as a transdiagnostic process. International Journal of Cognitive Therapy, 1(3), 192–205.
Harvey, A. G. (2002). A cognitive model of insomnia. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 40(8), 869–893.
Hofmann, S. G., Sawyer, A. T., Witt, A. A., & Oh, D. (2010). The effect of mindfulness-based therapy on anxiety and depression: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 78(2), 169–183.
Lyubomirsky, S., & Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (1995). Effects of self-focused rumination on negative thinking and interpersonal problem solving. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69(1), 176–190.
McGowan, S. K., & Behar, E. (2013). A preliminary investigation of stimulus control training for worry: Effects on anxiety and insomnia. Behavior Modification, 37(1), 90–112.
Nolen-Hoeksema, S., Wisco, B. E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Rethinking rumination. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 3(5), 400–424.
Statistics Canada. (2023). Mental disorders in Canada, 2022 (Catalogue no. 11-627-M). Government of Canada.
Watkins, E. R. (2008). Constructive and unconstructive repetitive thought. Psychological Bulletin, 134(2), 163–206.
Watkins, E., & Moulds, M. (2005). Distinct modes of ruminative self-focus: Impact of abstract versus concrete rumination on problem solving in depression. Emotion, 5(3), 319–328.
Watkins, E. R., Mullan, E., Wingrove, J., Rimes, K., Steiner, H., Bathurst, N., Eastman, R., & Scott, J. (2011). Rumination-focused cognitive-behavioural therapy for residual depression: Phase II randomised controlled trial. British Journal of Psychiatry, 199(4), 317–322.
Wells, A. (1995). Meta-cognition and worry: A cognitive model of generalized anxiety disorder. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 23(3), 301–320.